When I was working nights at 99X, I used to make fun of Steve Craig quite often. He was an easy target, with excessive banter about the Tiki bar in his backyard, his plane and his battle with gout. Okay, so maybe he didn’t have the gout, but that false story only followed suit. I used to make up fables about Steve fighting forest fires with his plane, saving countless Whitetail deer and wild rabbits with his efforts, and then retreating home to have a nice tropical drink out of a coconut shell.

Another point of attack was Steve’s heart and soul: The Retroplex. Airing every weekday at noon and featuring New Wave, classic alternative and punk, this hour was the reason for Steve’s existence, leaving it an easy target for obvious and shameless verbal bombardment. One night I made an off-hand comment about how I was going to start the “Futureplex,” which would showcase music from the future, contrasting it with the old music played on the Retroplex. The music would be delivered by means of time travel, and would reveal a world much different than the one we lived in at the time. Even though I had no real intention of starting the show when I first mentioned it, I threw the idea around amongst friends, and with the support and backing of Lee Tesche, we went forward and the Futureplex was born.

The Demise of the Futureplex:

In November of 2006, corporate managers from 99X’s parent company - Cumulus - tried to put an end to the Futureplex. The reasoning was that the once-a-week, five to ten minute feature was “getting in the way of the music.” Apparently it was imperative 99X not miss out on opportunities to play Nirvana or the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

After much persuasion, backed by an empty threat to kill myself, the Futureplex was given the green light to continue, albeit in the 10 p.m. hour instead of the original 8 p.m. hour. Cumulus Vice President of Programming Val Garris was a main opponent to the Futureplex, and there was discussion about creating a new supervillian named “Valtron” within the storyline. Despite an overwhelming desire to be petty and childish, the idea was scrapped in a reluctant effort to remain professional.

The final installment of the Futureplex aired Jan. 24th, 2007. The unceremonious ending came after the initial approval to continue was revoked. I was taken off the air for good at 99X in September of that same year. The statement given was that I was “trying to be too creative.”

On Jan. 25th, 2008, 99X ceased to exist on the 99.7 frequency.

Launch Radio Player

Episode 1: MRDAN - Serotonin

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Episode 2: MRDAN - I’m Not Exactly Sure What Love Is, But I’m Going To Try and Explain It Anyways

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Episode 3: Interview with MRDAN

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Episode 4: Hello, I’m MRDAN. Nice to Meet You.

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Episode 5: Tragedy Strikes MRDAN

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Episode 6: Shy None 3 Bit - Unhappiness Via Greed

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Episode 7: Chase McHuan Sings The Blues

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Episode 8: REVBOB - Fluoride

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Episode 9: Stereomegatron - Dr. Krunk Put The “PhD” In “PHAT” Minus The “D”

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Episode 10: Unknown Artist - God Is My Lover

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Further Background On The Plot Of The Show

I have access to the future.

When I was a small boy, my grandpa gave me a pan flute that he had won at the Pennsylvania State Fair after a successful game of ring toss. The flute had a colorful history, as Pop Pop had become one of the most renowned street performers in Philadelphia, playing to thousands by the day in Independence Square. People would flock to see the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall and good ol’ Jack Snyder as he performed his famous rendition of Scott Joplin’s The Entertainer.

The culmination of Jack’s career came in 1964, when he performed the National Anthem at the Philadelphia Phillies 150th game of the season - quite the honor considering the team was on the way to the playoffs (though this would soon change). His song was so beautiful and enthralling that some blame him for the monumental collapse of the team that year (blowing a 6 1/2 game lead over the St. Louis Cardinals with only 12 games left in the season). Manager Gene Mauch has been quoted as saying that the song still haunts him to this day.

Unable to shake his association with the dismal play of the team, Jack retired prematurely from street pied piping. His music was never documented, but does live on in northeastern folklore.

Cut to: February 23, 2006

I hit an all-time low. My addictions to glue, vintage porn and pyramid schemes had gotten the best of me. I was broke. I needed money. It was at this point that I decided to sell my grandfather’s pan flute. Wanting to make sure I got full value for it, I took the prized possession to an Antiques Roadshow expert.

Upon my arrival and subsequent display of the flute, the appraiser’s eyes lit up. He pointed out the insignia of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart just below the mouthpiece, and proceeded to inform me that I was in possession of the actual instrument Mozart had based his opera “The Magic Flute” on. He also went on about how the flute actually did occupy magical powers, and more specifically, how it would allow me to travel through time, with the destination year depending on different note combinations. After much surprise and excitement, I was left by the appraiser with these words:

“Run boy. Run far, far away and never tell anyone about this object. If you do, you’re likely to be destroyed and have the flute stolen.”

Cut to: September, 2006

With practice, I finally figured out the melodic mixtures that allow me to travel into the future. What I find most interesting about the years to come is that Bob Barker doesn’t die until 2053, Howie Mandel IV runs for governor of New Idaho in 2062 (and wins), and that music is mainly written and performed by computers.

Cut to: The present

Not wanting to be selfish with my powers, I now bring to you the music of the future.

This is the Futureplex.