This is my first book of poetry. 40 poems. It is a collection of writings from 1995-2005 and I put it out in 2006 I think. I hand made about 100 of them. I sold 25 or 30 copies for 5 dollars each and handed out the rest as gifts around the holidays. They were scribbled on napkins and written on pieces of cardboard then shoved down my pants on many rough nights over the years. I hope you enjoy.

1. The Old Days

 

I miss the old days when we could afford

to drink Coca-Cola

I miss the days when us kids

would get gifts on our parents anniversary

I want to go to a book study barbecue

and play a game of triangle or Chinese handball,

then jump in the pool

It is those simple things that taught me

the beauty in this life

Every single day

I try to capture them

 

2. A New Holiday

 

Thanksgiving was good

but her birthday was better

Her mother had bought me

a brand new sweater

An old pair of jeans

and 3 day old sneakers

We kissed and we laughed

and I knew I would leave her

 

3. Just

 

Not a dime to my name

actually, that’s a lie

I have a dollar and eleven cents

in my left pocket

Sitting here, on a bench

I’m hungry, thirsty, horny

and most of all lonely

The weather is nice

at least

 

4. She Said I Was a Dreamer

 

My girlfriend left me today

she said I was a dreamer

Well that’s OK

I’ve dreamed myself into a better situation

I’m now with a girl who is more beautiful

and much more open minded

 

 

5. Just a Typical Day

 

I met this woman

and she didn’t know how to love

I tried to show her

She said she was not capable

of learning

I jumped on her

and kissed her

and showed her what love was

 

6. My Brother

 

My brother

we fought for so many years

Because we were so close in age

I always knew we’d become

the best of friends though

He has become my idol,

my inspiration, my savior

I’m just glad I don’t have his belly

He makes me laugh

with just a facial expression

He could make me cry

with his words

He has a way,

a gift

 

7. Reminders

 

A phone call from mom

is a dead ringer

a dead winter room with no heat

A blank expression

it is like a fever

And a door unanswered

is what made me leaver her

It’s been some days

and I know I’ve gone longer

A drink in the shade

reminds me of summer

A kiss on the lips

is a nice reminder

And a slap on the back

is for old timers

 

8. My North

 

My fingers fell

into the strangest place

My hands in her lap

reminded me

of when I was a boy

Nights in New York

I learned how to live

and learned how to love

Blackouts and baseball games

My first hard on

and incredulous wet dreams

Indian girls and Spanish ones too

 

9. My South

 

My South is a place

that is never predictable

It’s made me drink too much

and dream even more

It makes me smile

and it makes me cry

It reminds me of the old days

when we were just kids

There were friends and families

at barbecues and picnics

Second hand suits

and not a worry in the world

I’ve found love here and lost it

a few times too many

But I am no quitter

that’s not part of my agenda

It’s made me lie

and then I’ve redeemed myself

I’ve lost faith here

then had it restored

by a little piece of laughter

or even a smile

It’s unbelievable

what a glass of wine or a song

can do to a man

It’s been good to me

and I’m gonna take

whatever I can get

 

10. Looks out the Window

 

A bottle of smoke

and a glass of memories

I remember playing box ball

in the park with the neighbors

I learned to drink and vomit

then do it again

And mom would hit me

with the rolling pin

Well I’ve lost my cool

and I’ve lost that edge

And I no longer

have the advantage

I’ve learned my lessons baby

and being easy ain’t very easy

 

11. A Lot More Laughing

 

She said how ya doin’ Pinocchio

I haven’t lied in days

Then gave me a plastic hug

and kiss on the cheek

She ran off with a jock

with a cheesy mustache

It happened sometime

I think last week

It’s definitely not the first time

probably not the last

I think I’ll survive

I’ll try to get by

I’m looking at the future

not dwelling on the past

I’ve got a hell of a lot more laughing

to do before I die

 

12. One, Two, Three, Four

 

I wanted to ask her

to dance

Instead when she turned around,

I asked her if she had the time

She said she didn’t

Then I asked her

if she had the time to dance

She said she did

but she didn’t have the proper shoes

 

13. Tuscarora Lodge

 

This man

walked through the door

And I said

I’ve seen that face before

He said “let me buy you a drink

and we’ll talk and we’ll think”

And I’m hearing sounds

from the backgrounds of my head

And these voices said

“I hear the sound of music

and it’s been a long long time

and I miss that face”

And I jumped off that bar stool

with both feet hitting the ground

and my head is splitting

and I throw water on my face

and I’m turning over a new leaf

and I walk out that door

and head for the carousel

and the sun is on fire

It’s a burning orange

It smells like the Poconos

and I feel like a kid

 

14. Wood Floors

 

One day something good

will happen to me

I am sure of it

I am overdue

It has been the year

of bad fortune

My head hurts, I’m tired

and my heart has been shot to hell

One day

I’m gonna wake up a winner

 

15. Holiday Wish for a Broken Down Lad

 

A fistful of pennies

in my hand on the left

I need a drink

of whiskey, the best

I knew I was short

and feeling so shy

I ordered, then downed it

then started to fly

 

16. Early Morning Scribble

 

Well I tried my best

and I’m now a mess

If you feel the same

we’ll jump a train

I know these words

don’t sound very smart

But at 5 this morning

they were from my heart

 

 

17. Stub from the Heart

 

Day one of her gone

don’t think I can maintain

It’s happened before

and I’ve made it

I count my blessings

and it still turns up empty

I reek of margaritas

and my teeth look like shoes

What’s this boy to do?

raise your glass silly

 

18. Miles to Go

 

Fell asleep to Miles Davis

he’s so soothing

First good night of sleep

in weeks

Don’t remember

what I dreamed about

But have a feeling

it was good

No one died

and woke up in the best mood

 

19. The Locals

 

A letter in the old box

reminded me of the way it was

The village idiot

meets the town liar

They drink and talk

about past responsibilities

Deals gone sour

and resolutions for the new year

They bang their glasses

against each other

And each walk out separately

with their heads high

 

20. 19 Year Old Dreams

 

I met this girl

a Hindu

We were sharing a taxi

and flirting

I kissed her neck

it smelled like curry

Her apartment was worse

We drank and talked

about how we were raised

She whispered in my ear

“kiss me where I piss”

I went down there for hours

only to come up for air

and sips of wine

Surprisingly,

it smelled like roses

 

21. Who I Sing For

 

My songs are for the underdogs

the lost boys and unlucky ladies

I’ve been there before

and I’ve learned to appreciate

Free refills and holiday kisses

hugs goodbye

and nights with the misses

 

22. Nights of Drinking Wine

 

Nights of drinking wine

have become lonely and cold

I’ve lost feelings in my hands

toes and nose

My heart doesn’t feel so hot either

I’ve been lonely

and all I’ve got is this beard

and my pillow

 

23. Steel Plates

 

I feasted on wine and chips

and sour cream and meat

I coughed up blood

and hollered at the walls

I threw glasses

and picture frames

and thought about New York

A girl named Allie

and a girl named Gabby

came to mind

Things didn’t end up

like they were supposed to

 

24. Nancy Boy

 

What’s a boy to do?

My momma raised me right

I haven’t lied in days

and I’m good to the ladies

Friendship is number one

and family too

I love taking in this air

and know I’m overdue

 

25. Donkey Kicks

 

The six fingered man

gave me a hand

He said “this way boy

and I’ll show you the past”

I followed and cried

and wept and laughed

I saw my boyhood,

my future, my kids

Then thanked the man

for what he did

 

26. Conversation with Air

 

I peed in a cup

and talked for hours

My brother was bored

and started shouting

I know his story

she left him hanging

He’s been crying

for way too long

Some of us need hobbies

and some just drink

Shut your mouth

and just breathe

That’s the way I’ve done it

for years

A man should learn

after several romances

Thank you baby

for all those second chances

 

 

27. Pistol Whip

 

Laughing and dancing

you lack soul and crotch

My mother wept for days

until she had enough

A new leaf and

a shit load of sorry

We walked and walked

’til the sun came up

And talked and talked

and she asked me to stop

 

28. Tight Jeans

 

Pictures from her wallet

fell in between the seats

She tried for hours

to get them

Then gave up

and started drinking

She was sloppy

but sexy

Quick witted

and fun to be with

She could last all night

You just don’t want to see her

in the morning

 

29. Honest Days

 

The days of waltzes

are gone

And honesty has been thrown

out the window

I heard a man the other day

lying to himself

He defended himself too

Where did it all go?

and who to?

What happened

to the special people?

My best friends

have all gone to hell

This man needs a stiff drink

and a shot of truth

 

30. Tuesday, 3:30 PM

 

She cleaned the house

and I went out drinking

I hung up the phone

and thought about

the nights we shared

I really liked

the middle of her

A little boy walked by

and made me laugh

I knew I’d probably never

ever be that happy

She was gone

and it was time to move on

I’ll always have the memories

I thought

I ordered another drink

and said to myself

“I want to die smiling”

 

31. Think Filipino

 

Happy birthday

to me

and all of the other

dogs out there

I think we’re the last

of the good old men

And it’s been some time

since I’ve felt real love

from anyone

I miss my innocence

Spanish foods and pastas

and drinks with mama

Wine and kisses

and family visits

The young days

when girls wore tight jeans

and had good intentions

The lake and the beach

and everything in between

I wish I was 19

 

32. Broken Man

 

I hate her

just the thought

I can’t even think about it

I’m losing my mind

Just picturing her with someone else

sickens me

I can’t eat, I vomit up nothing

all day long

I am now a broken man

My pain, is real

at least, I think it is

Someone is jabbing me in the heart

with a harpoon

Stabbing me quickly

then pulling it out slowly

This is how I go to sleep each night

I get drunk, then naked

I crawl into the bedroom closet

with a bottle of something

and just look at pictures

I cry myself to sleep

Hours later, I wake up

I’m rolled up like a ball

and I’ve been sleeping on a bunch

of bad shoes

I don’t even shower

I just repeat the same process

as the day before

This had become my life

I guess I need to learn

to live with it

 

33. Bathroom Walls

 

I saw my wife

and she was with another man

She held a hand

and it wasn’t mine

I need flowers

and I sleep in a drawer

What’s this kid to think

my dad told me there was more

She said I had the disease of kings

and I was once pretty

I grabbed a large piece of sheet metal

and headed for the nearest tree

 

34. Acceptance

 

I thought about religion

and figured god’s away on business

He saw me in the shower

the other night

and my piece looked good

I screamed his name

and there was no answer

I thought I heard him yell back

but it was my mother

telling me to take out the garbage

And I lost my voice

but kids I’ve lost more

 

35. Power Resource

 

What can and can’t be recycled

in the paper process

Relationships come and go

and I still feel like a child

A smile goes a long way,

a kiss too baby

I need those things

in my life regularly

A warm nod

at the farmers market

And a special kiss

on a Tuesday night

Ladies, we’re not asking for much

 

36. Nights in China

 

Words fell from my mouth

like dirty laundry

And thoughts came to my mind

like a schoolyard pervert

I was a sailor on leave

in this dream

Gambling and drinking,

cursing and giving it to the women

I went out like a hero

with respect from all my peers

And the song that plays at my funeral

has always been the same

 

37. Great Words of Wisdom

 

I walked out the door

and rain hit my face

This man approached me

he looked like a chess piece

He was filthy

and smelled like ham

He put his hand on my shoulder

and said “live life to the fullest”

I thanked him, then moved on

I walked around the rest of the day

smelling like ham

 

38. Pictures on a Desk

 

I talked to myself for hours

and walked for so long

When I looked up

I saw the package store

I had walked 27 blocks

and told the story of my life

It wasn’t pretty

just funny and sad

Mostly funny

it was time to get drunk

 

39. Lined Paper

 

I write words at night

to give me therapy

Most of my problems

I have brought upon myself

I know this and laugh

and don’t change a thing

I want to make people happy

with stories and songs

And get a little lovin’

on the side

I think of paths I could have taken

to make my life different

And don’t see how it could have went

any other way

I was born to drink

and born to lie

I’m really good

at making women hate me

This is me at my happiest,

when I’m miserable

I blame my folks

for all of this

 

40. Tired Talk

 

I thanked the boy for his honesty

and patted him on the back

His innocence was gorgeous

and his smile was worth a million bucks

I told him to enjoy every moment

and kiss as many girls as possible

Before you know it you’re old

and it’s about to be over

See the ocean from one side to another

and the rest of the world in between

Hang out with gypsies

and stay out all night

Learn as much as there is to learn

and never forget it

When you find someone special,

hold on tight

Show her the world that you’ve seen

and then some

The boy walked away

shaking his head and yawning

 

THE END