1. A New One

I cried myself to sleep
and wept for too long
I spent a night with her
It was biblical in its intensity
We took a nap and woke up
in a bread and milk community
People stared and wished upon my death
I talked with a rent boy
about his debts
The rain washed my troubles away
I took another nap
and dreamed about my final breath

2. Other Reasons

One look out the window
gave me chills
I heard my mother scream
and raise some hell
She always talked down to me
The chill felt good
in the strangest ways
I want to change my style
and perfect my stance
I’ll meet a sweet girl
at Friday’s dance
I threw my hands into my face
and begged to the gods

3. Another Tuesday

She liked the way it felt
when I squeezed her
She had the perfect amount of fat
Then she talked down to my face
and said “mount me please”
Within seconds my shoes were off
and I was in
It was ugly and cold out there
I decided to hang out for a while

4. Watching My Life Run By

I thought about my childhood
and wet dreams
Early crushes
and nights in the Poconos
I’m chubby and ugly now
and time flies by even
when you’re not having fun
And crazy piss is coming out of me
and I really miss my family
I’ll make a phone call
and express my thoughts
My mom has the power
to rejuvenate me and break me down
I’m gonna do push ups
a walk might do me good

5. Power of The Sea

A hot Sunday
and a cold Monday
And the rest of the week
was in the middle
I can’t take criticism
but compliments go over well
I have a feeling my eyes
haven’t been honest in a while
I do know that what I felt was real
I really did love her
and I think she liked me a little bit

6. Beach Weekend

My lady left me again
this time I think it’s for good
She cried on the bed
and I wept on the couch
I’ve become a pussy
I know I cried louder
Although I’ve never worn a ring
I feel I know what divorce is
I know I’ll miss her,
yes

7. Sunday Brunch with The Lads

I tried to write songs
and change for you
But I’ve changed enough, I think
I thank my friends for their words
Songs and words and stories
are what get me by
I’ll try to come up with something
interesting, sexy and new for you

8. Hot Pockets

I ate chicken salad
and wrote music in my head
This head is splitting
and I cry entirely too much
I miss that smell
and the way she tastes
A morning voice
and the best laugh in the world

9. Coldest Living Room in The World

I watched the television set
and got no comfort it
I saw a chimney carved
in the shape of a cross
It blew out smoke
and they looked like angels

10. A Little Hint of Death

My system works in periods
yes in phases
I want to be the man
my parents tried to make me
I’m frightened every night
is going to be my last
I’ll have my last breath
in my sleep
Things will work themselves out
drink, dance and be merry

11. Cafeteria Conversation

My heart is hanging
at the bottom of my stomach
Feels like a fat thumb
that’s become callous, you know old and cut
And my tears are pathetic
and the penis stopped working weeks ago
Then the boy screamed
“woman, you have hurt me for the last time”
It wasn’t a total waste
we had England at least

12. Tuesday Mornings

I sweat more than ever
these days
I see yellow, pink and blue
These colors are all
in front of me
Thank you for everything
Honesty is what I was taught
My parents tried their best
Well I loved you
Yes, I know I’ve loved
and it’s time to move on

13. Nothing But Words

I grabbed a piece of meat
and flung it into the wind
And now I feel a piece of me
is out there with no reward
I’m no longer that slow kid
who just wants to learn
I’ll be the first to say sorry now
and the last on the dance floor
And I think I got old quick
and I feel I got cheated
I grabbed a belt off of the shelf
and I am now out of reasons
I sang a song to Martha
and asked for forgiveness

14. Wooden Finger

I fell into her
she was a Persian
We had 20 minutes
and that was enough
I felt like a kid
getting it for the first time
We ran through the town
and I ran through her
Her head hurt from laughing
and my face from smiling
We sprayed the place,
we left our mark
I fled and the heartbeat of the town
just stopped

15. Morning Voice

I yelled on the top of my lungs
and she whispered in my ear
The sky is now a yellow
there’s not a clean thought in my head
I’ve been drinking now for weeks
She was a real mature girl
started smoking when she was 4
Cuban cigars and sings like an angel

16. The Popular Groom

You make me
want to stop drinking

17. Meat Hammer

I once lived a life
in the ghetto
Things have now changed
for me
Now I am part of the middle class
and it hasn’t gotten any easier
The women demand respect
and the beer is more expensive

18. What I Live For

Drinks and drugs
and love (sometimes)
and books and music
and stories and jokes
and hugs and kisses
and drinks and drugs

19. A Little Smile

Spent the night with a Puerto Rican
She wore tight jeans
and zip up boots
We got a room at the Kew Motor Inn
it had an African theme
We drank White Russians
danced to Tito Puente
Room service delivered
cheeseburgers at midnight
We drank, we ate, we screwed

20. Last Straw

A couple of burps
and a few pisses
And everything will be just fine
I’ve got a little gas
but I can’t talk about it with my girl
All I ever wanted was to be a dancer
She left me with my wood panels
and it rained and I laughed
I can’t commit to anything
and I don’t want to
I survive by my memories of her
I say sorry
But I know that shit got old
weeks ago

21. Ceilings and Floors

I cried myself to sleep
and wept for too long
There was noise in the street
and kids wrapped in plastic
The sound of a garbage truck
rings at 7 am
And the deaf girl next door
screams her mothers name
I poked in the windows
and saw an empty room
She was built for me
but I know I don’t belong
A trip to Blue Mountain
we did some fishing
Mom made sandwiches
and dad was dreaming
The address has now changed
and so have the years
I went to bed laughing
and woke up to tears

22. Blood On The Ropes

I saw this young girl
she was pissing in the woods
She was drinking and laughing
and singing to the birds
I fell through the ceiling
and then through the floor
My brother was cooking
my sister was bored
I cut my hands open
from ladders with ropes
The rain hit the windows
I gave mom my coat
We talked to a priest
he gave me nothing
I fell from my seat
and mama gave me loving
I fought with a black
he was missing a finger
He made my skin bleed
I knew I would miss her

23. Boom Box

My words come from the streets
you know what I’m saying
I represent the lost boys
and the down on their luck
I wear a wristwatch
and I keep a good lookout
Her heart hasn’t seen
what mine has
A flip of the switch
and a lick of the tongue
My songs are for the weak,
the hard times and broken hearts
I’m a winner for today
and for the next year
I kissed that girl
and ran away with a tear

24. I’ve Got a Knife

I’m gonna write with this pen
’til it bleeds
My heart bled for days
just the other night
I drank like a drunk
then called my mother
It was a good night
I didn’t hurt anyone
The car is still running
and I am feeling empty
I didn’t keep my eyes
on the prize

25. St. Patrick’s Day

I whispered happy birthday
to my girl
What we’ve been through
I don’t know who could handle
I’ve hated and loved you
but I know I’ve loved more
You have become my drug
and my drinks
So I know I can become
good at you
I want to be great
at making you happy
I want to share
the rest of my drinks with you
The rest of my days
are now spoken for
Let’s go out on the town
and celebrate

26. New Leaf

I flipped the switch
and did a u-turn
My nights are getting
longer and colder
It’s a new year
and a new me
Sobriety has always been
an arms length away
It’s unbelievable
what a man will do for love
I’ve lost my mind over it
a few times too many
I’ve got 11 months and 3 weeks
left of this piece
I’m gonna make a difference

27. Wisdom From The Awful Grace of God

I thought about politics
and about a time when there was hope
Blacks in the streets
and they were on a mission
I talked with a Catholic boy
about his dreams
They were shot to hell
and left in the stream
When religion was romantic
and wasn’t a business
I dipped my head into a church
to clean my conscience
It did me no good
I walked away feeling worse
Karma is now my religion
and my woman is my god

28. 10-08-05

I fell into the sand
then put my feet into the ocean
I drank with my father
and joked with my brother
Played football with some old men
and flirted with some women
The rain came down
like it hadn’t rained for years
My mother had tears
but they came with a smile
And the sun came out
on the day of the ceremony
It was one of the great
days of the year, cheers

29. Bend

Her skin was soft
mushy and just soft
When she hugged me
it gave me a hard on
We woke up on a hard bed
in a cold house
Arms and legs
tangled with my frame
I whispered I could die here
she whispered the same

30. Fat, Chatty, Flirt

I dream about windmills and washing machines
and cotton mills and cabbage fields
I ran for days the other night
and the sun never came up
My heart has been beaten and ripped
and then becomes brand new again
It’s a new day, a new time
and time for a new spirit
She went for a walk
I knew it would do her good
And the winter is coming
I’ll drink brandy and grow a beard
Late nights by the fire
and early mornings by the pier

31. Around The Block

Writers block, don’t try to push it
the good will come, I promise
Watch a film, have a drink
find love then lose it
I am inspired by my regrets
things are where they need to be
I lost her in the crowd
she tried to lose me
I drank myself sober,
three times through out the day
I’ve seen a lucky life
and she blames her family

32. Early Morning Due

I watched water go down the drain
and she reminded me of the things I did
I emptied a bottle of scotch
into the toilet
Then unzipped my pants
and pissed in the sink
She wrapped her arms around me
and I felt pretty for a second
I then let go
and wished I was a kid
My skin bleeds, but it heals
my heart doesn’t work as fast
She was like a leaking faucet
I watched things fade away
Time, sometimes is the greatest of healers
I looked at my watch
and kept walking

33. And Now We Need A Name

I tried to write
but nothing came out
I tried to talk
with a smile in my voice
And it ain’t easy
pleasing kids these days
My memory is gone
I’m back with a new batch
Did a lot of sinning
to get where I’m at now
I now use a walking stick
it keeps me balanced
And alcohol can make you ugly
I am living proof
Booze and drama
always creates a good story
This kid is back
and he is better than ever

34. Honestly

She took me there
and I was going

35. Tuesday Morning, Once Again

I tried to sing for a minute
things didn’t work out like I’d hoped
Sometimes I drink with the intent
to stop breathing
Saw this boy who looked like a bird
He had a look on his face
like he just made in his pants
Saw an old friend,
she looked good
A glass of champagne
and a bunch of old stories
Lost my mind for a few hours
don’t remember a thing
I came home at 2
and threw up in my shoe

36. Out of Words

I said I’m sorry,
yes, you’ve heard it before
we’ll figure it out
and we’ll talk about it in the morning
thank you love

37. A Little Pick Me Up

I write songs in my head
no melodies just words
Saw a man with white hair
he reminded me of my father
My brother became my best friend
someone to confide in
Got too much hatred in me
can’t stand the youth of today
I’ve lost faith in everything else,
got nothing to believe in
I saw a little girl laughing
with the biggest smile in the world
She turned around and walked away
I even smiled, it gave me hope

38. Bikes in The Ground

I found myself
in a hysterical dream
I landed in a
cemetery of bicycles
And tripped over
some handlebars
I walked through
a forest of windmills
And danced over
a bed of roses
An Asian handed me
a bible and a mask
My father shouted
he lost his marbles
My mother farted
it smelled like lentils
We ate salad
and drank sangria
The yard stunk
like leftovers
It was study time
and I wasn’t in the mood
I found the one bike
that wasn’t in the ground
And pedaled my ass
out of there

39. Pitter Patter

I feel old and filthy
and my pants don’t fit me
Where have all the days gone?
I cried the other night for no apparent reason
I laughed out loud
at a man wearing a dress
He wore it better
than most women could
My glass is now empty
and my crotch is oily
My dad reminds me of all the things
he wanted to do
I’m doing it,
at least I think I am
The most important line
in a poem or a song
is the last
I want to wake up the next morning
repeating it
It’s not that I don’t believe in love
it’s just I know what it brings
It has brought me heartaches
and a few black eyes
And if you go through it more than twice
you’re a glutton
Order your last drink
and ask for the tab

40. Spring ‘87

A bucket of chicken
on a wooden picnic table
A Sunday drive
in the panel wagon
I swear we could fit
ten in it comfortably
I dreamed about the beach
we went to Point Look Out
I miss the beach in the winter
Your eyes are closed half the time
from sand blowing in the wind
Dad had a patch on his eye
and mom’s hair was huge
Didn’t think much
about school then
I hated the look in dad’s one eye
when he found out I wasn’t going

41. Traffic Lights

I’m inspired by my brothers
I’ve had it all and now have nothing
It’s all about mileage
and my hand is my best friend
Success is different to everybody
some people are rich in love
A trip to New York City did me well
everything feels new again
and I’m comfortable being alone
I’m writing about fresh things
and I feel they will last
The lights went out quickly
and it just made sense
It was a Saturday night
and I wrote by the fire
She went out with her mates
I hung on the couch and stroked it

42. Silly, Silly, Silly

I piss words in my sleep
no idea what this means
When I look at you
sometimes I’m handicapped
My heart goes out to you
your parents did you wrong
I spit these words in my pillow at night
and try to make some sense every morning
Once again this hand of mine
comes in handy
I’ll only lie to you
if I love you
I seem to lie to the people
I care about most
I took a drive through the mountains
with wind in my hair
I fell asleep for five seconds
and had a dream of you
As I look in your eyes
I want to be honest

43. Summer is When I Miss You Most

White wine and salmon
and rides in the wagon
Nights on the steps
I fooled around with you in the bushes
Barbecues and Bushmills
jelly beans and beats
Boom boxes and that two seated car
and doing it twice and those nipples
A walk in the park after dark
and board games and mint juleps
Together we made a perfect team
it is those nights that I miss

44. A Song For My Partners

I’m a singer, a comedian
an idiot and a liar
I’m just trying to find
a decent melody
Songs in the shower
on a Saturday night
and hot baths on a Sunday
I saw a twinkle in her eye
reminded me of Jersey
And no one knows what it’s like
to be behind these blue eyes
Honesty and conscience
went out the window a long time ago
This here goes out to the lads
my glass is in the air and half full
You’ve been there for me
when my heart was in my crotch
and my crotch was in the gutter
I’ve sung to women for years
and it really hasn’t gotten me far
this one here is for the boys

45. Constant Blabber

Fell out of bed
and into a song
My hairstylist is my pillow
and I don’t believe in fun
Ran into a Puerto Rican
with big pants and lipstick
She made me fruit liquor drinks
and had a gold toothpick
We were at Coney Island
the freshest day of summer
Ate Thai food and laughed
and waited for the subway
I sweat like a woman
and snore like a baby
My drinking getting worse
and the pockets are empty
I kissed her and whispered
and whispered while tearing
She said she’d stick around
but I knew she’s be leaving

46. Loveless

I ran out of money
and I’ve run out of time
My scars are big
on the inside and out
She swears she has run out of love
but this boy is on a mission
I sometimes think I could snap
daddy always knew how to fix it
Wine and song
can stop a man from doing wrong
Most times it excites me to fight
I flirt with this every night

47. Plastic Cups

I drop beats
they come out of me in spurts
I played scully
with the boys in the street
Drank beer with a black
he cried about his kids
I thought about an old love
What do you say after all these years?
I’m a salty dog
I sweat when I eat
And the wintertime
is when I grow out a beard
Sweater weather and fingerless gloves
and brandy to keep the heart warm
My intentions have always been good
and I’ve learned something new each day

48. A Sort of Homecoming

I thought about family
and what it should be
I finally understand
what this means to me
Hugs and kisses
and surprise visits
Frank Sinatra
coming out of the speakers
Late night talks
and early morning walks
Split pea with ham soup
and several bottles of red wine
Extra long hugs
and a little bit of laughter
Time flies whether
life is good to us or not
But family
will be there the whole time
Take advantage
of every possible moment,
every second counts

49. Invisible Tape

A little something
that is all I ask for
A little hint
maybe a letter
I ordered some eggs
loose and runny
Drank some beer
cheap and warm
I listen to music
it is all I have these days
I take walks at night
makes me lazy
An afternoon nap
and I’m good to go again
A little tape on my wounds
and I’m ready for business
A little something from you
and I’m ready to finish

50. Pants Pocket

I ran into her
it had been a minute
She looked good
but I couldn’t tell her that
I’d imagined this day
a million times in my head
The words didn’t come out
not the ones that I wanted
I had a bunch of notes
scribbled on bar napkins
It did me no good
I was a frozen boy
I fumbled my words
and managed a hello and goodbye
It was a cool day
but I broke a sweat
I stepped inside a place,
ordered a drink and began writing