Soul singer Tom Cheshire interviews journalist Geraldo Rivera. The two men smoke cigars, drink Tecates, and talk music.

Tom Cheshire: Thank you for meeting with me.

GR: You got it.  Hit me!

TC: Well, first things, first. You are a Puerto Rican Jew, correct?

GR: That’s right and damn proud. Just like Juan Epstein on “Welcome Back Kotter.”

TC: That’s amazing. There are a lot of Jewish folks in Hollywood and several successful Puerto Rican’s but not a mix of the two.

GR: There’s just me and him, just me and Epstein. It’s pretty cool.

TC: Tell me about your early career.

GR: Well, my first television job was on Eyewitness News in 1972.

TC: I was 2 years old in ‘72.

GR: It was a pretty exciting time.  I had my whole future ahead of me.  I wanted the world and because I was on TV I got to play with a lot of women.

TC: Now you’re talking. Your style is often described as sensationalistic.

GR: Well, that’s right. That is my style and I’m sticking to it. I like a sensation. I know the peeps want a good show and I’m going to give it to them.  I’ve been pin rolling my jeans since ’87. I was also into punk way before any of the other journalists. Man, they didn’t know the deal.

TC: Would you like a drink?

GR: Hit me! I’d love a Tecate.  Love the Mexicans, love ‘em.

TC: Then you moved on to being a talk show host.

GR: Yes, but my love has always been for journalism. I like to report the news and be the first to do it. I was always letting kids know other kids’ secrets in school.

TC: Did that get you into trouble?

GR: Yes it did, and I wasn’t that popular for a minute. But I had a job to do, damn it!

TC: Would you like a cigar?

GR: Hit me! Love ‘em, love ‘em.

TC: Word on the street is that before you started your talk show you were flirting with the music business.

GR: You got it. Well I’ve always been punk. I had a Puerto Rican punk band in 1982 called “The Cubans.” We did a little touring, you know, jumped in the van.

TC: Why were you called “The Cubans” when you were all Puerto Rican?

GR: Cigars, I love ‘em. Let’s have another Tecate.

TC: Did you guys do well?

GR: Well, you know the music business. They’re all a bunch of fascists. We had a little hit that was on the charts for a few weeks called “I Want My Baby Back (RIBS).” It was a good tune.

TC: That’s amazing. I’ll have to get my hands on that.

GR: Yeah, I was through with that. Then I did a little bit of trash TV. Then I got back to what I’m good at, the news.

TC: Have you ever been stopped on the street and been mistaken for someone else?

GR: Yes, the other morning this old redneck stopped me because he thought I was Marty Robbins.

TC: Well, he was a good man with good style.

GR: Yeah, I guess. I don’t think he was as good as “The Cubans,” though.

TC: What kind of car do you drive?

GR: I drive a 1986 Buick Riviera. My friends call me “Geraldo Riviera.” It’s pretty cool.

TC: Who were your influences when you started playing music?

GR: You name it and they influenced me. Tiny Tim, The Sex Pistols, The New York Dolls, Jim Nabors and the Sugarhill Gang.

TC: And who influenced you as a journalist?

GR: You name it and they influenced me. Tiny Tim, Mr. Rogers, Barbara Walters and Joe Franklin.

TC: Would you like another cigar?

GR: Hit me! Only if they’re Cuban.

TC: Oh, they’re Cuban alright. Only the best.

GR: Good, cause that’s all I’m smokin’.  That and maybe a little Bohemian Red, if you know what I’m saying.

TC: What have you been doing the past few years?

GR: Well I’m working for Fox now, and what can I say about them… well, I can’t say it because I’d get fired. They all wear their pants a little too high around the waist there, the men and the women. It’s a decent job. I like to report the news whether it’s the truth or not. I’ll deliver the news on a video camera for a couple of Chinese kids if I have to. That’s it. I also have been collecting band aids from all over the world, new ones and used ones. It’s been very interesting.

TC: Well, I’d like to thank you for your time. I know you are a very busy man. I really enjoyed chatting with you.

GR: You got it. Hit me, I could handle it all. Let’s get another round and play some Tetris.

* Originally in Pine Magazine in 2007