Got on the plane at 8 am. Had a bloody and took a nap. Within 3 hours we were in Puerto Rico, San Juan. Took a cab to our rental house on the beach in Ocean Park. From then on it was rum and beer. Hit the beach. Took a 6 pack of Medalla Light into the ocean. Drank, swam and looked at beauty. Saw a small person wrestle a bar stool on the beach and a girl in a g-string tackle a 4 foot iguana. Barbecued and cooked up some branches. Made fruit drinks with rum and then more rum. Went to a reggae bar, went for a bike ride, played at a fort and drank the original Pina Colada. Got a little sunburn. Hung with a Puerto Rican Cuban. Took a catamaran to Vieques Island and Mosquito Bay. Swam in water that made us sparkle like diamonds.  Looked like Ziggy Stardust. Saw a Chinese boy hanging with a fake Chinese girl. She put lines on the side of her eyes with a black sharpie. She was blond. Ate Mofongo. You must try this. Walked to Condado. Went down to Old San Juan. Stopped in a Mexican joint for margaritas. Saw a man with a neck beard. He was selling ice cream bars in the street. Found a bar called El Batey which is basically the El Myr of Puerto Rico. Found stickers and stamps and evidence of dear friends being there recently. This place is no joke, serious. Caught 30 seconds of a Puerto Rican punk show. Sounded good. Got a powder substance in a bag from a kid named Clear Crystal for 15 dollars. Was off the table. Went back for more, a few times. Listened to Depeche Mode. Drank some Ron del Barrilito with pineapple juice. That is my new style. I wore a speedo with espadrilles and a wife beater tank top. I had a tuxedo for a minute but left it in the ocean. I saw a girl in an alley playing with a rat. She was 2 years old and smoking a cigar. Turned my sweatpants into a bathing suit. Went to a wedding in a rain forest. Danced for 6 hours. Saw a chubby kid play catch with a monkey. Ran a tab at the local gas station. Got a 6 pack and pack of fags. Went for a long walk on the beach. Got drunk in the sun. Took a nap. Woke up in black sand with seaweed hanging out of my ass and a short straw in my left hand. It was murder, chaos and blues. Jumped back on the plane and had another bloody, Mary that is. I’ll be back!!!

Photo by David Peterson